Meltdown at the Mall...or..
I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
I went to the mall today. Not an unusual event for most people, but I am a person with a disability, and I use a wheelchair, I live in Phoenix and it was 113 degrees, so going to the to the mall is an event. I needed to get a formal dress for a cruise that my husband and I are taking for our 25th anniversary. I had no idea it would turn out to be the worst day and the best day I’ve had in a long time.
My husband left me at Macy’s, and we agreed to meet in two hours in front of the mall. I went up and down the aisles of the store looking for something in my size. Something that would be easy to wear, comfortable and attractive.
The first step is to find a wheelchair accessible dressing room. This is usually do-able. Once in the dressing room, things get a little more difficult. They usually have grab bars, but they are seldom in the positions I need them to be. Getting in and out of my clothes without help, and then trying to hold on to something so I can stand up and look in the mirror to see how I look becomes an exhausting task.
I tried on about a dozen different outfits. None of them worked. Too small, too big. wrong color, not me. It was now past the time I was supposed to meet my husband so we could go home. I was tired, my hair was ruffled, and I needed a nap. I went out into the mall and found my husband. When I began to tell him why I had bought nothing I started to cry. It was suddenly all too much. Then I started to sob.
A 60 year old women in a wheelchair sobbing is not a pretty sight. Now understand, I usually keep a pretty good attitude, but this day I was having a very bad time. I just felt so old (I am turning 60 soon) and for the first time I felt old, disabled and yes, the word no one wants to use..... handicapped. But I did not want to go home empty-handed. So I told my husband I was going to try another store in the mall. Lane Bryant. A smaller store. Made for “women of a certain size”.
I entered the store, and a sales woman immediately came over to me and asked me if she could help. A told her I had just come from Macy’s with no luck and explained what I needed. I started to cry again and tried to explain that I am usually not like this, but was having a very bad day. She chose several outfits for me to try on and stood outside the dressing room in case I needed any help. Again none of them worked for me. I was tired and near tears once more.
Now comes the most amazing part. She told me that she shops at Macy’s often and knows just what I need and where to find it and she would come with me to the Macy’s store and help me pick out an outfit. “Come with me to another store? Help me pick out an outfit? Can you do that?” Apparently she could. So off we went to Macy’s.
Up and down the aisles she went pulling things from the racks, then on to the next aisle, pulling other things asking quickly, “do you like this? How about this? Color? Style? Before I knew it we had a handful of things to try on. She found me an accessible fitting room and came in with me to help me dress. By this time I was so tired I could hardly lift my arms to pull on a dress or blouse....but...with her help..
I ended up with the most amazing dress, a long dress with a little sparkle and lots of zing, a beautiful dressy blouse and a gold sweater to throw over my shoulders on a cool evening on board ship. She then took my merchandise to the checkout counter waited with me while I made the purchase then made sure I was delivered safely back to my husband.
I ended up getting exactly what I needed, and it was all on sale so I even ended up saving more money than I spent.
Her name is Melissa, and she is an angel.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Best New Years Gift Ever!
Best gift of the New Year.
I never thought I would be so excited about getting a new toilet, sink and shower, but my new fully wheelchair accessible bathroom has made such a difference in my life, my attitude, my outlook, and my dignity.. that I believe this to be a life-changing event.
Let me go back to the beginning. I was diagnosed 10 years ago with the neuro- muscular disease. No treatment, no cure. It’s progressive and over the years I have gone from using a cane to a walker, to a power wheelchair. I can no longer drive, walk or work. The last few years, even though my husband put up grab bars in the bathroom, I began having trouble using the shower and toilet. This also became a safety issue. I needed help getting in and out and up and down; very depressing for a formally active, independent woman.
I collect Social Security disability, and there is no way I could afford major renovations to my home. The outlook was dismal. Then I heard about a program through the state of Arizona Independent Living Rehabilitation Services. It is designed to allow people with disabilities to stay in their home rather than have to go into a nursing home for care. It sounded too good to be true, but I thought I would apply anyway.
In late 2009, I called and set up an appointment for an interview with a counselor.
We spent a few hours with Susan, discussing my diagnoses, my needs and our financial situation. She thought the program could help me. Several weeks later they called to set up an appointment for an Occupational Therapist to come to my home and help decide what renovations would benefit me the most.
It was decided that the bathroom was the number one priority. However, I have a minivan that had an old wheelchair lift in the back that had seen better days. It was also becoming more and more difficult for my husband to get me into and out of the passenger seat of the van when we went out. So it was also recommended to provide me with a new lift and power seat. The seat actually comes out of the van and lowers to the ground by a remote control, and then lifts me back up into the Van. This is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen!
Of course, before any of this became a reality, they had to get approval.
Before that happened, the economy crashed, and the program lost its funding :-(.
To say I was upset is an understatement. But this is not the end of the story.
In April of 2010 I received a letter from the agency saying they had gotten more funding, and I was on top of the list again. Joy! They were now going to send another OT to the house to review my case again. The second therapist agreed with the first report that the priorities were making my bathroom wheelchair accessible, and adapting my Van so that I could go out into the community.
Again, we had to wait for approval since the cost of this was going to be significant. I waited. I began to get discouraged and wondered if this was ever going to happen. Then I received an e-mail saying that the van modifications were approved, and someone would contact me soon to schedule a time to make the modifications. Next they scheduled time for a contractor to come to the house and look at the bathroom and make his recommendations. Again, it had to go in for approval because of the high cost. Again, I waited.
Just before Thanksgiving of 2010, I was told that the bathroom modifications were approved and would start shortly.
Next thing I knew there were workmen, noise and dust all over my house.
The tub came out and a flat wheelchair accessible roll in shower went in. A fold down seat was installed, the vanity cabinet came out and a pedestal type sink was installed so that my wheelchair could fit under it. A new ADA type toilet with wraparound grab bars was installed, with maybe the best thing of all, a bidet, with a self warming toilet seat! This would allow me to conduct my daily personal hygiene with some measure of privacy and dignity. Don’t laugh, it works. They installed a cabinet with shelves and drawers so that I could also use this space as a dressing area.
Since this is also our guest bathroom. I really wanted it to look nice, so I bought a new shower curtain, a new light fixture, some pictures for the walls, new towels and my new bathroom looks like something out of house beautiful. It is Functional and safe for me, and beautiful for guests. I could not be happier.
Thank you AZ!
I never thought I would be so excited about getting a new toilet, sink and shower, but my new fully wheelchair accessible bathroom has made such a difference in my life, my attitude, my outlook, and my dignity.. that I believe this to be a life-changing event.
Let me go back to the beginning. I was diagnosed 10 years ago with the neuro- muscular disease. No treatment, no cure. It’s progressive and over the years I have gone from using a cane to a walker, to a power wheelchair. I can no longer drive, walk or work. The last few years, even though my husband put up grab bars in the bathroom, I began having trouble using the shower and toilet. This also became a safety issue. I needed help getting in and out and up and down; very depressing for a formally active, independent woman.
I collect Social Security disability, and there is no way I could afford major renovations to my home. The outlook was dismal. Then I heard about a program through the state of Arizona Independent Living Rehabilitation Services. It is designed to allow people with disabilities to stay in their home rather than have to go into a nursing home for care. It sounded too good to be true, but I thought I would apply anyway.
In late 2009, I called and set up an appointment for an interview with a counselor.
We spent a few hours with Susan, discussing my diagnoses, my needs and our financial situation. She thought the program could help me. Several weeks later they called to set up an appointment for an Occupational Therapist to come to my home and help decide what renovations would benefit me the most.
It was decided that the bathroom was the number one priority. However, I have a minivan that had an old wheelchair lift in the back that had seen better days. It was also becoming more and more difficult for my husband to get me into and out of the passenger seat of the van when we went out. So it was also recommended to provide me with a new lift and power seat. The seat actually comes out of the van and lowers to the ground by a remote control, and then lifts me back up into the Van. This is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen!
Of course, before any of this became a reality, they had to get approval.
Before that happened, the economy crashed, and the program lost its funding :-(.
To say I was upset is an understatement. But this is not the end of the story.
In April of 2010 I received a letter from the agency saying they had gotten more funding, and I was on top of the list again. Joy! They were now going to send another OT to the house to review my case again. The second therapist agreed with the first report that the priorities were making my bathroom wheelchair accessible, and adapting my Van so that I could go out into the community.
Again, we had to wait for approval since the cost of this was going to be significant. I waited. I began to get discouraged and wondered if this was ever going to happen. Then I received an e-mail saying that the van modifications were approved, and someone would contact me soon to schedule a time to make the modifications. Next they scheduled time for a contractor to come to the house and look at the bathroom and make his recommendations. Again, it had to go in for approval because of the high cost. Again, I waited.
Just before Thanksgiving of 2010, I was told that the bathroom modifications were approved and would start shortly.
Next thing I knew there were workmen, noise and dust all over my house.
The tub came out and a flat wheelchair accessible roll in shower went in. A fold down seat was installed, the vanity cabinet came out and a pedestal type sink was installed so that my wheelchair could fit under it. A new ADA type toilet with wraparound grab bars was installed, with maybe the best thing of all, a bidet, with a self warming toilet seat! This would allow me to conduct my daily personal hygiene with some measure of privacy and dignity. Don’t laugh, it works. They installed a cabinet with shelves and drawers so that I could also use this space as a dressing area.
Since this is also our guest bathroom. I really wanted it to look nice, so I bought a new shower curtain, a new light fixture, some pictures for the walls, new towels and my new bathroom looks like something out of house beautiful. It is Functional and safe for me, and beautiful for guests. I could not be happier.
Thank you AZ!
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