I am still me

 

I belonged to a book club for many years. When it became too difficult for me to get around in my wheelchair and in and out of other people’s homes, I decided to drop out of the club. I still keep in touch with some of the members.

 

I had an interesting encounter last week that really made me think. One of the women who was in our book club for many years, an engineer at Motorola, was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's disease. It had come to the point where her husband had no choice but to have her admitted into a facility that could care for her.

 

Some of the ladies in the book club decided to go visit her and asked if I would like to come along. I said yes. When we got to the facility and found her room, there she was, 80 pounds sitting on the bed with a blank stare. She did not know who we were or why we were there. We had brought cookies and milk and we sat at the table and tried to make conversation. But there was no recognition. I suddenly began to cry.  How sad.

As we left to go home and my friends were trying to get me and my wheelchair into my Van, my friend turned to me and said “at least you are still you”. And then it dawned on me, how lucky I really was. True I can't walk, I can't work, I can’t drive and I need help with so many things. But inside I'm still me. I can talk to friends on the phone. I can read books. I can play on the Internet. I can write this blog.  I can laugh, I can cry, I can feel... I'm still me.

Every day I try to remind myself how lucky I really am. I have a roof over my head, a warm bed to sleep in. I have food in the refrigerator, a husband who loves me, family and friends. And most importantly I AM STILL ME.